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2004-03-14 無限のなかの三番目の星

_ 心が鈍っているというのは感覚の帯域が狭くなっている、という感じとはちがう。太陽黒点のように、鋭敏な部分がぱらぱらと散らばっている。ときおり動いたり広がったり消えたりあらわれたりする。そういう感じだ。

そのなかに消えることも動くこともない黒点がある。この黒点に注目して連想をあらためてみると、それはむしろ太陽そのもののように見えてくる。

全天にひとつしかない太陽。

_ 闇のなかのオレンジ。蜜柑色ではないオレンジ。けっして弱まることのないただひとつの関心。

この太陽の輝きが、周囲のみずから光ることのできない星々を明るませている。

_ 光とは物質に「目覚めよ」と呼びかける声。

私の私に関する関心のほうは、この太陽の第三惑星の軌道を絶妙にまわっている(このゆえに太陽は、見かけ上は動いて見える)。

たかいところに登れば。満天の星が見える。ひとつの太陽系に属する、無数の星々が。

そして星と星のあいだには、光を受けとめるものがなにもない闇。

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