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2010-05-08 どこにも届かない

どこにも届けられない思いがこの世界に無数にあるということ、このことをとてつもないことだと感じる。
それらの思いを一括して受けとる存在がいると思えば、このざわついた気持ちはおさまるだろう。

届けたい相手に受けとってもらえないこともあるし、はなから誰にも届けるつもりがないこともある。届けたくても、それを試みることさえ、できないこともある。 誰も聞いたことがないような、新しいと言われるであろうことを考えて、それを誰にも話さないとしても、その考えは存在している。

わたしはここで、届けたい/たくない相手は言葉を知ってる存在だということを前提にしているようだが、樹のほらに秘密をささやく行為は理解できる。石や空に語りかけることも無意味だとはまったく思わない。

とにかく、とてつもないなあ、という感慨がある。良い感じでも悪い感じでもない。

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