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2009-08-01 暴走し迷走する

自分の子に特定の才能を感じ、その才能で生計を立てる将来を妄想することは、そこでとどまるなら許される。web日記に書くくらいもいいだろう。

長男はもの足りなさを感じることと同じくらい感心することもある。といってもそれは学校の科目のどれにもあてはまらないような、面白い発言やオリジナル折り紙作品等で、将来の妄想には発展しにくいものばかりだった。

それが、画用紙に描かれてコマ割りのマンガを見たときには、本気で驚いた。いままででいちばん才能を感じてしまった。これまでの感心なんて、子どもを驚きながら褒める親戚のおばさんの感心とにたりよったのだったような気さえした。

しかし、そこでわたしは、「漫画家はイヤだ」ととっさに感じたのだった。
なれること前提かよ!というツッコミは、妄想なんだからスルーできるとしても、また、本人には成りたい気持ちなんて皆無だし「もっと描け」といっても応えないくらい執着はないというのに何をおそれているのだという話なのだがそれはおいといて、マンガをこよなく愛し、マンガをバカにする大人に強く反感を感じるくせに、なぜイヤなのか?
それは、苦しそうだから。売れなくても売れてもしんどそう。
ただでさえ「作家」の類は辛そうで、その中でも漫画家はとくにたいへんそう。

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